Woman Says She Wants to Plan Her Own Baby Shower. Her Sisters Aren’t Having It

A mom-to-be turned to Reddit for advice after a tense disagreement with her sisters over her upcoming baby shower.

Expecting her first child, she admits she may have overstepped but emphasizes her desire to have a say in the event’s planning.

“I texted in our group chat that I’d decided on a date,” she writes. “And they both got upset, saying ‘that’s what the sisters are supposed to do.’” For her, the frustration goes beyond the date—it stems from feeling excluded in the past.

She explains that both of her sisters have had baby showers, yet she was never involved in planning them.

“For my oldest sister’s first baby, the shower was canceled because she delivered early. For her second baby I wasn’t asked to help, I was just told about it,” she recalls. “Same thing for my other sister. That’s three showers total where I wasn’t part of the process, just expected to show up.”

Her sisters had reasons for leaving her out, citing age, finances, or distance at the time.

“They gave me their reasons about why I wasn’t involved at the time,” she says. “Too young to contribute, not being financially able to contribute, or being located in a different city.”

Still, she says the explanation doesn’t erase the sting. “Regardless of means to contribute or geographic distance, it was decided for me that I didn’t need to be a part of the planning,” she says. Now, she feels her sisters are trying to take control of her own celebration.

She told them she wants their input but also hopes to have the final say. “I told them I do want their input and involvement,” she writes. “But I also want to be in charge of the planning since this is my first baby and something I’ve looked forward to.”

Her sisters, however, did not respond positively. “My oldest sister responded that it was something she had been looking forward to since we shared the news,” she explains. “And my other sister just stopped responding altogether.”

The mom-to-be acknowledges their frustration. “Traditionally, sisters plan the shower,” she says. “By taking over, it might seem like I don’t trust them or I’m not letting them celebrate me.”

She also admits her direct approach may have caused hurt feelings. “I didn’t ask them first. I just told them my decision,” she says. “Which could make them feel excluded, the very thing I’m upset about from the past.”

In the comments, other Redditors reminded her that baby showers are usually hosted by family or friends so the expectant mom can focus on enjoying herself.

One commenter shared their own experience: “My shower is this weekend, I’m 33 weeks, and I can barely make it through the work day right now. Everything hurts, I’m huge, and I’ve got no extra energy to do anything.” They joked, “If being in a mood was an Olympic sport, I’m ready to join team USA.”

The mom-to-be appreciates the advice, noting how emotional she’s been. “I really appreciate everyone’s input and thoughts,” she responds. “Not only are the pregnancy hormones easy to trigger emotional outbreaks, I’m already a very emotional person as it is, to be quite honest.”

She clarifies she didn’t intend to host the entire shower herself. “I wasn’t trying to be my own host,” she explains. “I was simply trying to just take charge in planning as far as theme, what day it is held, where it is held, etc.”

Her love for her sisters remains clear despite the tension. “I love my sisters and am extremely grateful for their enthusiasm with the baby shower,” she says. “And I wasn’t trying to be resentful at all. It just ticked me off that they had so much to say about my shower when I let them do as they please and put whoever they wanted in charge of theirs.”

This isn’t the first time she’s felt overlooked during milestone celebrations. “When they planned my bridal shower, I wasn’t really asked much about what I preferred or anything,” she remembers. “They did the thing themselves and [I] was told just to show up.”

Although grateful for their efforts, she noticed important details were missed.

“Because they didn’t confer with me on anything, there were things that I would have liked to do that weren’t included,” she explains. “And there were people that couldn’t be there because invitations weren’t sent out in enough time for them to make travel arrangements.”

This time, she hopes to avoid similar regrets. “I really didn’t want that to be the case this time,” she says. She wants a celebration that reflects her wishes while still including her sisters.

Ultimately, she reflects on how she could have approached the situation differently. “I think the conclusion I’ve come to is that I should have had a different approach [to] discussing it with them,” she admits. “Rather than just telling them how it’s going to be or how I want it.”

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