Woman Says She’s Considering Going No Contact with Her Mom as She’s Become ‘Nasty’ Following Battle With Neurological Condition

A woman is questioning whether she’s wrong for cutting off contact with her mother after years of hurtful behavior that worsened following a neurological diagnosis.

On the U.K.-based parenting forum Mumsnet, she shared that her mother, though physically frail, is mentally sharp but has become increasingly bitter and harsh.

“Recently, when I’ve visited my parents, my mum has been more angry and cruel toward me,” she explained.

She added that her mother has made these negative comments even in front of her children. Because of this, she has begun to suspect her mom may be a narcissist — a condition where someone has an inflated sense of self-importance, according to the Mayo Clinic.

The woman recalled a recent incident around her upcoming birthday. “My mum gave me a birthday card but didn’t write in it. She said I could reuse it and that I needed to stop wasting money,” she wrote.

She also said her mother often shares only negative memories, even when her grandchildren ask questions. “When my daughter asked what I was like as a baby, all my mum said was that I cried a lot and was always hungry. My daughter looked upset,” she noted. “Sometimes she even calls me a [slut] because I dated a few boys in my teens and early twenties.”

Things became even harder when she found out that her mother plans to leave everything in her will to her sister. “She told me she’d rather give it all to my sister since she has less and works a temp job,” she wrote. “I feel so sad it has come to this. I honestly believe my mum hates me and doesn’t love me.”

Her father, meanwhile, stays silent during these moments. “Even though he doesn’t defend me, I know he’d miss the kids if we cut contact,” she explained. “I also help him with a lot, like his online shopping and computer problems. I know he’s struggling too.”

In a follow-up comment, she shared that she’s in therapy and beginning to fully understand the way her mother has treated her. “It’s always been like this, but worse in recent months,” she wrote. “I don’t think I’ll regret walking away. I can’t keep being treated like this. My husband was horrified about the blank birthday card.”

Members of the Mumsnet community were quick to support her. Many said it was her choice to step back if the relationship had become unbearable.

“I don’t think you’d be wrong to distance yourself if it’s too much,” one person wrote. “It’s about what you can live with and what gives you peace.”

Another added, “Just because you weren’t allowed to be angry as a child doesn’t mean your anger isn’t justified now. Working through those feelings, especially in therapy, will help you heal.”