Woman Sent Mother-in-Law Christmas List for Her 1 Year-Old. She Was Shocked When She Opened Gifts 

A mother is asking if she’s wrong for refusing to bring home the Christmas gifts her mother-in-law bought for her toddler after the grandmother ignored a clear request.

In a post on the AITA subreddit, the original poster (OP), 33, said she and her mother-in-law generally have a “good relationship,” though she noted there’s a pattern of the older woman “not respecting boundaries.” This year, OP explained, her family is spending the holidays with her husband’s side and made a specific request: gifts for their 18-month-old son should be experiences rather than more stuff.

“We told our MIL [mother-in-law] that we wanted just experiences for my son (18 months old) like a membership to the aquarium / zoo, day in Legoland or something like that, and maybe a book or two that he can unwrap,” she wrote. “He has too many toys and clothes already and he doesn’t understand yet receiving gifts.”

According to OP, her mother-in-law didn’t take the idea well and pushed back because she wanted to buy physical presents. The grandmother then asked for an Amazon wishlist so she could pick items the family could “use in the future,” OP said.

“My husband and I spent quite a bit of time thinking about what to add to that list cause we truly don’t need much for our son,” she wrote. “We sent it to my MIL and told her she could choose some items from there.”

OP said the situation came to a head when her mother-in-law revealed what she’d purchased — and none of it was from the list. After OP asked what the plan was, her mother-in-law reportedly texted OP’s husband: “I might be on the naughty list now,” along with a video showing a stack of gifts.

“NOTHING from the list,” OP wrote. She described the haul as a collection of large items she says her mother-in-law knows they don’t have room for, including “a car that my son can ride on, a keyboard, a play kitchen, tons of books, one of those Amazon iPads for kids (we don’t do screens with him).”

OP said she told her husband his mom could keep the presents at her own house if she wanted, but she had no intention of taking them home.

“I found it very disrespectful that she just bought whatever she wanted when we specifically told her we didn’t want anything,” she added. “Also, why ask for a list if you are going to ignore it?”

The disagreement then turned into a debate between the couple. OP wrote that her husband thinks they should bring some of the items home so his mom doesn’t “feel bad,” while OP believes doing so would reward the boundary-crossing and signal that the grandmother can ignore their parenting choices. She also repeated that space is a real issue, and she doesn’t want to store bulky items they didn’t ask for.

She ended her post by asking the Reddit community whether she would be wrong for leaving the gifts behind instead of bringing them home.

In the comments, many readers sided with OP’s stance. One person said the mother-in-law can buy whatever she likes — but the parents aren’t obligated to accept it.

“Nah. She can buy what she wants, you can choose not to bring stuff home,” the commenter wrote. “But you’ll cross into AH category if you’re rude about it. Thank her for thinking of your son, and bring home some while leaving the rest.”

They suggested taking smaller items, including the tablet, specifically so the parents could control whether it’s used. Larger gifts, they added, could stay at the grandmother’s house with a simple explanation that there isn’t space.

Another commenter, who said she’s a grandmother herself, shared that her family set similar limits early on and stuck to them.

“I’m a grandmother. My daughter was very clear from the beginning. Do not buy things I’m not prepared to keep at my house,” she wrote. “She has a small place… This forces us to make careful choices. Not a bad thing!”

She added that the approach taught everyone to be more intentional, saying that as her grandchild got older, they learned to donate older items to make room for new ones — making boundaries and mindfulness part of the tradition.