Woman Tearily Confesses She May Never Find a Husband at 29: ‘I Can’t Figure Out the Love Piece’

At 29, Alissa DeRogatis did something most people only dream about — she turned on her camera after a night out and shared a heartbreak that usually stays private.

Her TikTok, filmed after she cried herself to sleep, became a raw and honest look at loneliness and longing that connected with millions of viewers.

“Last night I came home from the bar and cried myself to sleep because I feel like no one is ever going to fall in love with me,” DeRogatis tells PEOPLE. For her, sharing wasn’t about performing; it was about connecting and showing the real side of life, instead of the perfect images common online.

Posting felt natural, even in a vulnerable moment. “Being vulnerable and honest online has done nothing but open up my community to other people going through the same struggles,” she says.

Her openness comes after years of questioning her role in relationships. “I feel like I’m a really good daughter, sister, friend, coworker, and I know that I’m gonna be a great girlfriend, great wife, great mom one day. But it’s made me question how I show up romantically,” DeRogatis shares.

She admits that sharing online doesn’t always help offline relationships. “Am I giving too much or not enough? Trying to find that middle ground,” she wonders.

Her 20s have been filled with complicated love stories. “I started on TikTok sharing that I was dating someone in college. We broke up, it turned into this situationship, neither of us could let go for years,” she says.

This experience inspired her book, Call It What You Want, but dating after posting online brought challenges. “Once I started posting about my dating life and being single, it felt like it hurt my dating life a lot,” she explains.

She has also felt pressure from cultural expectations. “It’s shameful, it’s embarrassing,” DeRogatis says about why many avoid talking about loneliness. “Even Taylor Swift getting engaged at 35 doesn’t feel old, but for her it feels really young.”

Her viral video addressed unspoken pressures women face. “There’s a lot of shame around not fitting that norm or not having what you want yet,” she explains.

Even with a fulfilling life, love still feels missing. “My life is amazing. The one part I can’t figure out is love,” DeRogatis says.

She is honest about the inner thoughts that linger. “It’s not like you’re not good at your job. It’s like, there’s something wrong with you, so no one loves you yet,” she says.

This feeling resonates with many women scrolling TikTok at night, which is why her video got so many responses. “Comparison is the thief of joy,” she says, noting it took years to stop comparing herself to others.

She remembers feeling left out when her friends were in relationships. “I was the only one with no plus one to a wedding or not invited on couple’s trips,” she shares.

Still, she turned loneliness into empowerment. “Am I still single? Yes. But I’m more confident. I love my career and enjoy my life every day. I’m not just waiting for the right person,” she explains.

For DeRogatis, being single is a chance to enjoy independence. “Feel good about being the only single one,” she says. She and her friends even booked a spontaneous trip to Barcelona after a few mimosas.

Her viral post received many reactions, from celebrity comments to heartfelt messages. “Trisha Paytas commented, which was insane,” DeRogatis shares.

She was surprised by the number of people who related. “It got almost 2000 comments. I was floored by how many people felt the same because you don’t usually see that conversation online,” she says.

Her inbox filled with encouragement, advice, and even flirtatious messages. “I got a ton of DMs from people trying to shoot their shot,” she adds.

The comments showed these feelings span ages and genders. “I saw young 20s, but also people in their 30s and 40s,” she says.

Some reactions reinforced stereotypes, but many offered comfort and community. “It hit home for a lot of people. That’s why I create content and share online,” she says.

Vulnerability is more than personal; it’s a mission. “Hard conversations that people are afraid to have need to happen for visibility and to make people feel less alone,” she explains.

She hopes her honesty shows younger women another way. “Being single at 29 and wanting a boyfriend doesn’t mean everyone does,” she says.

Her goal is to ease the shame people carry in silence. “These are the conversations I want to have as a creator, with friends, family, and people online,” she notes.

Even with the challenges of sharing publicly, she stays true to herself. “I want to share my dating life honestly, but also respect the people I go on dates with,” she admits.

She believes in not settling. “It’s better to wait for the right person than to settle for the wrong one,” she says.

Through tears and TikToks, DeRogatis found purpose in showing what others hide. “I hope it helps people feel less alone,” she says.

She sees her story as a guide through uncertainty. “Being honest and open, and hopefully one day meeting the right person after all the struggles,” she says.

Even in messy moments, she shows up fully for herself and her followers. “When you feel low, seeing others in the same place helps,” she explains.

For now, she embraces not knowing. “I just want someone to add value, not fix everything,” DeRogatis says.