Woman Wants Her Daughters to Come to Her Brother’s Wedding. Now, She’s Mad When Her Mom Only Chooses One of Them to Go

A mother of two is wrestling with whether she’s overreacting after her own mom clearly chose one of her daughters over the other.

The original poster (OP) shared on Reddit’s AITA forum that her parents were recently invited to her brother’s wedding after a decade of estrangement. When OP asked if she and her family were also invited, her mom said yes. OP then asked if her mom would be willing to pay for a plane ticket for her and one of her two daughters. Her mom agreed — but specifically said she’d pay for OP and her 4-year-old daughter, April.

OP immediately felt unsettled that her mom had named April instead of leaving the choice open. When she called to ask why, her mom explained that she preferred April because she “likes to talk to my mom on the phone and she’s so cute.”

However, OP shared that if her mom was comfortable paying for one child’s ticket, she would actually rather bring her 3-year-old daughter Bella, who had never flown before. Her mom pushed back and insisted she wanted April to come. OP told her that was unfair and that comments like that could easily be overheard by the kids.

According to OP, her mom didn’t see any issue with openly saying she favored one granddaughter over the other. OP reiterated that she did not want that kind of language used around her children. They ended the call with OP saying she needed time to think about the trip.

A few days later, OP called back and said she’d decided both daughters would stay home with her husband. Her mom asked if she was okay, and OP admitted she was still upset by the favoritism. Her mom then asked whether OP could really blame her for being more partial to one child. OP replied that her mom could make more of an effort to get to know Bella.

Later, OP messaged her mom to say she wouldn’t be attending the wedding at all. After several weeks of silence, her mom began messaging her again as if nothing had happened. When OP didn’t respond, her mom sent another message saying she loves both granddaughters and asking OP to stop ignoring her.

Now, OP is unsure whether she’s wrong for staying upset and pulling back. She wonders if she should just respond and move on.

In the comments, many Reddit users felt that there was blame to go around.

One commenter wrote, “[Everybody sucks here]. Your mom sucks for playing favorites with her grandkids. You suck for only prioritizing one of your kids when in reality, both should go if one is gonna go. The main thing that drove an irreconcilable wedge between me and my parents my whole life was their constant preferential treatment of my sibling. Don’t start putting that on your own kids. Certainly not this early.”

Another person felt OP was blowing things out of proportion.

“YTA. She’s closer with April at the moment because April can converse with her and Bella can’t. April’s conversations are more engaging whereas conversations with Bella are one sided because she’s three. It’s not that deep,” they said. “She likely loves them both the same but right now because of conversational skills the older one is more fun to be around. Again, it’s not that deep.”

A third commenter criticized OP for shifting the focus away from her brother’s big day.

“YTA…. made your brother’s wedding after a decade of no contact and invitation to your parents about you, and outright asked your mom to pay for your ticket and ‘one of the girls,’” they wrote.

They added that, while it was “messy” for the grandmother to say she preferred one child, OP shouldn’t have brought either kid at all — and if one had to go, the older one made more sense. “Sounds like it’s better you didn’t go,” they concluded, noting that OP’s parents were still able to reconnect with her brother without “two toddlers at his wedding.”