Mom Realizes Her Partner’s Family Isn’t Giving Gifts to Her Daughter from Past Relationship. Now She Feels They’re ‘Excluding’ Her

A mother is struggling with feelings of unfairness after realizing that her partner’s family consistently leaves her 7-year-old daughter out when giving birthday gifts.

In a post shared on Reddit, the woman explained that she and her partner are raising three children together: her own 7-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, her partner’s 14-year-old daughter from his prior relationship, and their shared 4-year-old son.

The issue, she said, became clearer during her daughter’s recent birthday in May. While her partner’s mother gave the 7-year-old a present, none of his siblings did — a pattern that has repeated every year. Though the child isn’t biologically related to them, the mother said the lack of acknowledgment feels hurtful.

Frustrated, she decided not to send gifts to her partner’s siblings’ children this year, calling it “ridiculous” that her own child wasn’t treated the same. But when her 4-year-old son’s birthday came around, only one aunt or uncle sent him a gift.

By contrast, when her partner’s 14-year-old daughter celebrated her birthday, every one of his siblings sent a present or money. The mom noted that her children aren’t lacking anything, but she finds it unfair that they’re treated differently.

“I feel like if you buy for one, you buy for the others — or just don’t buy for any of them,” she wrote. She added that her partner doesn’t think it’s a big deal, but she herself would never give a gift to only one of their children.

Seeking advice, she asked others if she was wrong to feel upset. Many commenters agreed that the situation seemed unfair, while some said it might depend on how close the family is to the child.

“It depends if your husband’s family has a relationship with your child,” one user wrote. “When my brother remarried, I gained two nephews. We gift them equally to what we give my niece, but that’s because we’ve built close relationships with both boys. They’re family.”

Another person added that it’s the partner’s responsibility to address the issue with his siblings: “This is a conversation your husband needs to have with his siblings, not you,” they said.

The commenter, who grew up as a stepchild, added, “I was never treated differently. Even after my dad and stepmom split, I still have a relationship with her family. This behavior would never fly in my family — but I understand every dynamic is different. Either way, a conversation needs to happen, especially with the holidays coming up.”