Pregnant Woman Asks If She’ll Take Away Attention at Colleague’s Baby Shower If She Attends Without Sharing She’s Also Expecting

A pregnant woman is wondering if she should tell her friend that she’s also expecting before attending her baby shower.

The original poster (OP) shared her story on Reddit’s AITA and explained that she is 31 weeks pregnant with her first baby. OP, 39, said she hadn’t shared her pregnancy with most of her friends because she has had multiple miscarriages in the past.

“I have had five miscarriages before and this would be my first baby,” OP wrote. “Because of all the losses I have not disclosed that I am pregnant — not to my work, my church, community, and extended friends (just some really close friends and family members).”

OP said that she is overweight, so her pregnancy wasn’t noticeable at first, but now it’s becoming harder to hide. She also mentioned that she has a group of former colleagues who are still close, and one of them is two to three weeks behind her in pregnancy.

“She is having her baby shower in 2 weeks, she invited me and I want to congratulate her,” said OP. “I do want to go as I miss them and it would be fun to hang out with the group again, but I don’t think I would be able to hide I am pregnant too.”

She added that while she wants to attend, she’s worried about taking attention away from her friend.

One Reddit commenter suggested asking the host if it’s okay for her to come.

“Why don’t you ask your host if she is okay with it if you are worried about her,” the commenter wrote. OP replied, “Yes, thank you, I will do that, it slipped from my mind a solution as simple as that, but thank you.”

Another commenter said OP should skip the baby shower to avoid shifting the focus away from the other pregnant woman.

“In all honesty, I’d make an excuse and not go. Once the other guests find out you are pregnant, the focus will become about you and not her,” they wrote. “You can always say you are unwell before the event and don’t want to risk getting her or anyone else sick. Or if you trust her, take her aside and tell her the truth and that you won’t attend because you want to make sure the focus of the event is on her.”

A third commenter said that as long as OP doesn’t make the day about herself, it’s okay to go.

“As long as you don’t make some big announcement or intentionally try to make the day about yourself — No, you wouldn’t be TA,” they wrote.

“Anyone who isn’t deeply happy for you wouldn’t matter. Plenty of people are pregnant at the same time, so being pregnant at someone else’s shower isn’t stealing their show.”