Woman Debates Attending Thanksgiving with Husband’s Family Due to Their History of Brushing Off Illnesses

Thanksgiving is supposed to be about family time, but for some people it brings a different kind of pressure.

One woman says she and her husband are facing a tough decision this year because of what she describes as his relatives’ habit of brushing off sickness.

In a post on Reddit, she explained that her husband’s extended family has a history of treating recent illnesses as no big deal — even when the symptoms are serious.

She pointed to a previous Thanksgiving where the family hosted a gathering even though her father-in-law had been sick the week before. Despite that, everyone still pushed the couple to come. At the time, her husband was also dealing with pneumonia, but relatives told him to “just stay away from the kids,” arguing that the house was already full of germs anyway.

Adding to her concern, several young cousins under five had just recovered from respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) about a week earlier and still attended the event. The memory, she said, has stuck with her.

This year, the stakes feel higher. After Thanksgiving, she and her husband are scheduled to travel to see her side of the family — including a baby niece who is only a few months old. The woman has met the infant just once, and her husband hasn’t met her at all. She worries that if someone at her in-laws’ gathering has been recently ill and still shows up, she could unknowingly bring something to her niece.

She wrote that she would be “heartbroken” if she had to tell her sister not to visit while they’re in town because of a preventable exposure. “I understand that there’s also times getting sick isn’t avoidable,” she added, “but due to them being careless in the past it makes me worry. Am I being over dramatic?”

Now she’s wondering whether it would be out of line to ask her husband’s family about any recent illnesses before deciding to attend.

Responses were mixed. Some commenters validated her anxiety and urged her to prioritize the upcoming visit with her niece. A few suggested skipping the Thanksgiving gathering entirely if she felt uneasy. “Even if no one has symptoms at that very moment, they could still have a virus and pass it around,” one person warned.

Others pushed back, saying she might be spiraling over a situation that’s hard to control during winter. They noted that seasonal illness is common and that children often bring germs home. “It’s winter. Illness goes around. Kids are germ factories,” one user wrote, adding that if everyone were that cautious, holiday visits would never happen.

For the couple, the question remains: accept the risk of a family tradition — or sit this one out to protect the newborn they’re about to meet.